Sunset Rose
by Liberrrty
Summary: aka The Origin of the Locket. Set before the events of the series, this story is about how Shiori came to transfer schools and Juri became the ice-queen she is. Some yuri themes. This is my first fic so feel free to crit. Part 1 of the Nebulae trilogy.
1. Chapter 1

**Sunset Rose  
**

**Chapter 1**

"The last summer sunset, I feel like this is the end of childhood."

Shiori's poetic tendencies still surprised me, even though she's been my friend for as long as I can remember. Looking at her she doesn't seem very deep, but every once in a while she'll say something inspired.

"We're only starting junior high school Shiori-chan" said Koji laughing. "Still the view from here is pretty amazing, though the smell of roses would make me feel sick after a while."

Koji, the 3rd member of our trio. Although he has been in the same class as Shiori and I since we entered Ohtori Academy, he only really became friends with us during the past year or so. At first it was weird, it had been just Shiori and I for so long, and I've never really been friends with or even paid attention to boys before, but now I can't imagine him not being there. The long summer together brought us all closer than before.

"Why are you living here Juri-san? Your family's so rich you could've just gotten one of those mansions like the rest of the rich bitches, instead of living here with us commoners."

"Well I wouldn't want to miss out on all the dorm-girl fun"

I said, a little meaning behind the joke. Truth is I found big, grand houses, like the one I used to live in with my family, cold and lonely. At home my time was spent moving from empty room to empty room, the only time I ever felt really at home was when I was with Shiori or Koji.

"Well enjoy your girly-girl dorms ladies" Koji said winking, "Try not to get all sissy living here. See you tomorrow! "

I tried to watch as he descended the stone steps into the rose garden, but the west facing patio of our dorms captured the sunlight so much that it made me squint. I didn't even see Shiori move.

"Here," she beamed, "a housewarming present. It reminded me of you, Juri."

I turned to her. A fresh picked rose, its petals matching the palette of orange and apricot of the sunset in front of us. I gingerly took it from her delicate fingers. The feel of her soft skin and unyielding stem, the heady scent of roses, her big deep brown eyes reflecting the dying glow of the sun. I'll never forget that moment, not even when the thorns prick.

* * *

"So, what clubs are you thinking of taking, this year?" Koji asked looking on the board with the list, "There's so many more we can choose from now we've moved up."

"I don't know, I suppose I might do flower arranging with Shiori." I replied shrugging.

"Aww... c'mon! You always do everything with her, why not do fencing with me instead, I don't want to be the only one without a sparring partner."

And so that afternoon we went over to the hall. It was weird being alone with Koji as we waited for the fencing club to start. It made me realize just how much time I spent with Shiori, it felt as if I'd left a part of me behind. Thinking about this made me a bit ashamed, was I really one of those pathetic people who couldn't be without their best friend even for one afternoon?

"Heeey!, Is he making you blush Juri-san?" Koji mocked.

"Shut up!"

To be honest I didn't even notice the tall upperclassman practicing below us. His rapier seemed to glide through the air and the graceful way he dodged and weaved looked like dancing. There was no way I could do that. As he took off his helmet, a cascade of azure blue hair tumbled out. A gaggle of girls who came to watch gasped simultaneously, that made me feel a little less worse about myself.

Tsuchiya Ruka, captain of the fencing team.

We got kitted out in fencing gear and given our own rapiers. The jacket and helmet were a lot more cumbersome than Ruka made it seem. After being shown a few jabs and parries Koji and I started our first spar. At first we were both tentative, not wanting to hurt each other, but after a while we relaxed. After a while of blocking each other's moves Koji started to swing and jab harder and harder, making me doge and duck faster and faster. However that left me a chance to gain an easy point on his unguarded torso. After that something just clicked. Fencing just seemed natural.

When the club had finished and I was packing my things, Ruka came up to me,

"That was some pretty good fencing there for a beginner, I hope you continue coming to the club, you'll be a great addition to the team some day... plus you look pretty cute in a fencing jacket."

"Uuuuh... thanks, I guess."

I hurriedly packed the rest of my stuff and left walking as fast as I could. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not but I'd never really had to deal with a serious pass from a guy before and it crept me out a little.

"Hey watch it!"

I looked down to see a small, blonde girl glaring back at me with eyes like thunderclouds.

"Nanami, come back here."

Kiryuu Touga, a member of one of the rich and powerful elites in Ohtori Academy, although he was only a year older than me he was starting to get quite the reputation.

"Don't mind my sister, she's just a child and doesn't know nobility when she sees it."

"I told you I'm not like that" I rebuked.

"Whatever you say" Touga replied snickering, " But you know it wouldn't hurt to play the game once in a while, I mean look at me I'm a student council member now, I could give you a good word if you make it worth my while..."

"Congratulations and thanks! But I've got to go"

That was enough of uncomfortable situations for one day.

I was relieved to get back in the dorm. Shiori had made some tea and there was a bouquet of peach roses on the cabinet. I smiled. My new home.

"Welcome back Juri-san. Was fencing fun?"

"Yes surprisingly. I beat Koji though he'll swear he just let me do it. I'm sorry I couldn't go to flower arranging with you."

"That's okay, but could you do something for me?"

"Of course"

"Could you... could you sleep in my bed again tonight? I get so lonely by myself. "

The little things she did for me touched me more than I knew. Life was so sweet back then.

* * *

Red means love. White means purity. Black means death. Pink means appreciation. Yellow means joy. Blue means the unobtainable. Orange...

I pace the room as she sleeps, I knew its wrong but I couldn't help peeking at her in her slumber. Her free flowing auburn locks spread over the pillow. Her pixie like features so peacefully arranged. The curves of her athletic yet feminine body.

Orange means desire.

Ever since I was little the meaning of the colours of roses have been like testament to me. My parents were florists and instead of learning colours from books or paint, I learnt them from lilies, irises and roses. Roses. Orange roses.

I wish she could see the message. Juri. I desire you.

She's always been beautiful, ever since we were children. That bittersweet mix of the desire to be her and be with her, love and jealousy intertwined.

Why do I even feel this way? She's a girl. I'm a girl. That's not even possible.

But all I want to do is touch her, hold her. Asking her to lie next to me was a mistake. I can barely keep myself in check. But still I did it.

Her smell. Even my clothes and hair are starting to smell like her. This is everything I've ever wanted.

I'm going too far. I need to stop this, somehow.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"She really is something your sister."

Koji keenly eyed the flame haired girl leaning nonchalantly against one of the many archways that surround the bustling academy quad. She was surrounded by a crowd of nameless guys, and seemed quite at home. It was lunchtime, the sun was shining and there was a gentle pleasant breeze, typical Ohtori weather.

"Her hair is so unlike yours too, it's so... vivid, it's almost unreal." He added practically leering.

She turned round and looked straight at us. Finding nothing of interest she dismissed us with a flick of her fabled locks and turned her attention back on the boys.

"You're the perfect stereotype of a pubescent male, you know that?"

To be honest I couldn't say that I was bothered by this anymore. My older sister had always had this effect on men and she had always reacted this way. Forgetting me for a boy, forgetting him for another, forgetting him for the next and so on. They were all so alike. The faces may change but the role they play never does. They all have the same fate in the end, a long continuous loop of men.

"Kiss chase, kiss chase, can't catch meee, can't kiss meee!"

A girl of about ten with a cropped haircut pranced past us giggling, followed by a pack of boys the same age. By the archway, a tall upperclassman strode past the rest of the guys hovering around my sister, took her arm and led her away. He was dressed in the white suit of the student council, so unlike the normal uniform, and he seemed noble, almost princely. But what was most striking about him was his long, luxurious brightly coloured hair.

"That's the student council president. Looks like your sister's got a pass in, you might do too if you play your cards right with Ruka, Juri."

I sincerely hoped Shiori was joking, but strangely her face was hard to read. A kid ran past, identical to the girl before, huffing and panting. Well almost identical. Given a double take you could see that this one was a boy. Gender is so blurred in children.

"Kozue!" he yelled and ran on exasperated, stumbling as he went.

"It's not like that, I like fencing not him."

"Yeah... that's why you stay the longest. Sure it hasn't got something to do with having some private time to polish his sword?" Koji smirked at his own double entendre.

"Shut up!"

As we continued to play argue, I noticed Shiori seemed distant, troubled. I tried to smile at her a few times, tried to engage, but her reply was only a slight quirk upwards of the mouth then back to brooding. She was definitely thinking of things left unsaid. The first things in our lifetime of close friendship. She stayed quiet all that day, but when I asked what was wrong she could only give a small sad smile and a shake of the head for an answer. I was worried but when she still continued our night time ritual of sleeping in the same bed I thought everything would be okay. Pretty naive of me, wasn't it?

* * *

That night I had a dream. Shiori and I were reading a book together. We often read together as kids. My parents hired hers to supply the flowers whenever they threw a party or function. We often ended up shooed together into my bedroom. My sister preferred to do her own thing and Shiori was a better sister to me anyway. We used to make a private den under the bed sheets to read to each other in the shadows.

That was where we were in the dream. Huddled under linen, apart from we were teenagers, but Shiori's eyes still held a childlike wonder in the torchlight. The book was Sleeping Beauty. She began to read. Her voice was her own, but she spoke in a language foreign to her tongue. English? Latin? No, French. Expensive private education finally kicking into gear.

"La fille dort..." she began.

It didn't matter that I wasn't fluent. We had our own understanding of each other, so she could take me to the story with her words. It made perfect sense in dream logic. A blink. I open my eyes to a fairytale forest. Not full of undergrowth, leaf mulch and crawling things like a natural forest. An ethereal world of towering evergreens blocking the sunlight. Trees covered with not ivy or normal creepers but rose vines weeping petals that carpeted the floor in red velvet.

A clearing, illuminated by sunbeams. A glass casket. Shiori the Sleeping Beauty. The beauty bit she had perfectly. Her dress was like a princess's and it showcased her slight and petite figure, the crimson silk highlighting her peachy cream complexion and the way the sunlight danced in her eyes was mesmerising. The sleeping bit wasn't going nearly as well...

"Kiss me."

That's funny I thought. Although she's in the casket her voice sounds like she's whispering in my ear. Anyway... what?

"Kiss me."

Shiori smiled a small but sultry smile and arched her back, raising the hem of her skirt above her knees and pressing her chest oh-so-lightly against the glass on the inside of the casket. If this happened a couple of years later I would have taken the hint but back then... well I was a little sheltered to say the least.

"What? ... Why?"

"You're a prince aren't you? You have to wake me up."

I looked down. Sure enough I was in a prince's outfit complete with huge pantomime puffed up sleeves and tights. A phantom wind blew through the trees picking up more and more of the rose petals in its tread. A whorl of flower fragments filled the air.

"A prince? But I'm a girl."

A couple of petals flew into my face and clung to my eyes. When I peeled them off we were in the fencing room. Shiori was out of her casket but still in her princess dress, twirling an orange rose in her fingertips. I, on the other hand, was in my fencing gear, sword ready in my hand. Once so heavy and strange, it now felt like a second limb. In front of me was an opponent, face hidden behind the mask, body poised in a fighting stance.

"_La fille remue..."_

Shiori's narration didn't come from her but like it was from some imaginary tannoy system. My opponent flew at me with a seriousness and intensity I had never fenced at before. It was like they were fencing for the world. It took all my skill to not get my bare face sliced to bits.

"You may be just a girl now but you're still a prince-in-waiting." Shiori said pacing around the fencing room, as if she hadn't heard her own voice. "You're strong Juri. In ways you don't even know yet you are strong. You have what it takes to fight, and you need to fight."

"Fight? What for?"

I blocked a particularly forceful thrust from my opponent. As the two swords shook with the friction between them, sparks flew off the metal. I gritted my teeth and scrunched my eyes, ready to use all my strength to push back. At the crucial moment there was nothing to push back from. Off balance I l stumbled forwards. Opening my eyes, I fell onto soft mattress covered by a blue-white sheet. Opposite from me, in the same, no a different bed, was Shiori. Her face was inches from mine yet her bed being an opposite way round to mine (she seemed upside down to me) created a strange distance between us.

"Fight for me. They're coming! They're coming for me. Save me."

Shiori's face was contorted into an expression of fear and desolation. Her eyes brimmed with dewdrop tears but underneath they were dead with wretchedness, with an iris of a thousand shards of icy metal. Although it made no sense, the pain in her features was heart breaking. I reached my arms across the gap to my best friend, anything to comfort her from that torment, and she took them in her own.

"Kiss me to save me. Please... Be the prince."

Hesitantly I pressed my lips to hers. She was warm, soft, sweet. I closed my eyes in pleasure. Although logically it should have been awkward because of the different angles we were at, she perfectly and smoothly tempted my mouth open with hers. I felt the gentle wet silkiness of her tongue against mine. I was stunned. It was the first time I had been this intimate with anyone. Feeling the pressure of her go I opened my eyes, confused. Shiori was now next to me kissing a tender spot on my shoulder. All kinds of new feelings were stirring in my body. New sensations in my mouth, in my chest, between my legs. I closed my eyes again. Opened them. Shiori was on top of me, teasingly playing with the front of my nightdress. I curved in ecstasy. Closing and opening my eyes, confusing snapshots of different body parts, mine indistinguishable from hers. Open. The back of a neck. Closed. Open. Two legs entwined. Close. Open. A pair of emerald eyes set against dark skin. Eyes as dead and unfeeling as the jewel itself and shadowed by an eternal darkness. Horrified and disorientated to say the least, I quickly closed my eyes again. Open. Shiori's heaving breasts begging to be released from her bra. Sooo much better. Close .Open. The curve of her butt cheeks. Close. Open. Heels in the air. Close. Open. Thighs. Close. Open. Close. Open. The slide show of snapshots was too fast for human eyes now, everything just becoming a blur of the colour of skin and light and dark.

"_La fil__le se réveille..."_

The rushing madness came to a stop. Shiori was in my arms with a face now of pure pleasure. In orgasm. Seeing her so happy like that made me realize for the first time that some strange feelings had been lying dormant and unnoticed in me. It revolutionised my way of seeing and being. I realised that I wanted this more than anything. I wanted to be the one to do those things to her, to make her feel just like that. I wanted Shiori, not just as a friend, but as a lover.

* * *

Disorientated I awoke. It was impossible to say how much time had passed, but it was definitely still night. Something was missing. Shiori. Shouldn't she be in my arms? I groped in the dark for her. Emptiness. I sat up. The fogginess of sleep slowly cleared from my mind. Realisation dawned on me. It was a dream. Nothing more nothing less. I looked around. Shiori was gone. Not in my bed or hers. My stomach dropped. Maybe I had been moaning in my sleep, or talking or...worse. I had to get away from her to clear my thoughts. I decided a walk would be a good idea.

Disregarding regulations I padded around the campus, meandering with no real destination. My thoughts were the same. I couldn't really make sense of anything at that point. My head would start one trail, leave it and take another, not arriving anywhere. When I reached the shadowy courtyard crisscrossed by stone arches my journey was interrupted...

In the exact same spot where my sister had waited for him earlier that day was the student council president. He was leaning against the wall just like my sister did before him. However he did not look cool and collected as she did. Instead he was rather hot and bothered. Crouched down by his disrobed crotch was none other than Touga.

Although I'm ashamed to admit it now I did the stereotypical pure-hearted maiden reaction and gasped. Loudly. Touga's head whipped round, bodily fluid trailing from his chin. At a loss what to do I turned and ran.

"Wait!"

Touga gave chase. He caught up with me in a dead end of one of the many maze like rose gardens in the grounds.

"It's not what it looks like."

It was beyond my power not to smile and raise an eyebrow.

"How did it happen?"

I surprised myself with that question.

"Well we started off making out..."

"Not that! How did you end up... being together?"

Touga's slightly scared expression softened. For some reason he decided he could trust me and opened up. Maybe he could sense something.

"Well we met through this other guy, he introduced us and we kind of clicked. It's not that I'm like that or anything, it's just more intimate with men. With women it's just physical, but with guys it's... something else."

I was pretty surprised by this revelation. Touga and the president were one of the biggest players in the school. To learn that they could share something like that was eye opening to say the least.

"I... I think that... I might..." I couldn't believe myself. I was getting dating advice off one of the biggest jerks in the school, so humiliating. "Say I wanted that "something else" with someone. H...how would I go about it?"

Touga smirked and looked like he was ready to lick his lips. It took all my resolve not to punch him there and then.

"At least I don't have that all over my face."

"Touché." Touga looked thoughtful and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Well the way the guy who introduced us got my attention was by giving me this." He held up his hand to show off a silver ring, encrusted with a pink rose seal. "I guess what I'm saying is a romantic present never fails to draw someone's attention."

As I pondered that idea Touga became anxious again.

"Look you won't tell anyone, will you? We have our reputation to look after."

I thought back to the president and my sister that morning. She wasn't exactly the sort you'd call onee-sama, but she was still my sister and I didn't like the thought of her getting stepped out on.

"Please! I'll do anything."

He was practically begging. This was an opportunity too good to miss. My sister probably couldn't give a toss anyway. There'd be a new guy in a couple of days.

"Okay. Never hit on me again."

Touga looked puzzled. I guess I had to spell it out for him.

"Frankly I find it disgusting. I'm not a harem girl and I'm just not interested in you. Give it up already."

Touga sighed with disappointment. If I hadn't of known better I would've sworn he looked a little hurt.

"Alright." He turned to leave. "I hope you find that 'something else' with someone. I've got to go, my prince awaits." He departed with a wink, oblivious to the irony. "Never mention this again."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Earlier that night..._

Pace. Don't look at her. Pace. Pace. Pace around the room.

The nights are getting harder. Much harder. Since we started school again Juri's just kept getting better in everything. She's grown a lot. Not just physically, though she is a lot taller and... the rest...

You can see it when she fences. She can beat anyone, Koji's so pissed off, well anyone apart from that Ruka. God when she fences. Her strength, her determination, the way she moves, the way her... what am I thinking?

Hentai.

That's what she's call me if she knew. That's what anyone would call me. Girls don't feel this way. Girls are flowers and dresses and lace not this. Girls don't think these thoughts. Especially towards other girls, it's just... unnatural.

Then again this place is unnatural. The weather, the secrets behind everything, even the flowers. Flowers should be safe but here they're not.

"Don't trust flowers that don't die." That's what my mother always says. "Flowers that don't die are lifeless already or just cheap imitations. A flower that lasts is an illusion."

Yet in all my time here a bloom has never been out of place, not a petal withered. No gardener could ever tend the acres of rose gardens so perfectly. Maybe it's a miracle.

I give in to the urge to gaze. She's sleeping, arms open waiting to hold me, or am I just thinking that they are? Her delicate eyelids flutter, she's dreaming. She twists and groans gently. She looks troubled. A bad dream.

"Shh Juri, shhh..."

I get into bed and hold her just like she used to do to me. I was always the cry baby, she played the big sister. A cut knee and she'd tell me that it was serious, "We're going to have to amputate." whilst smiling, putting on a plaster and kissing it like a prince.

Childhood games. Isn't this just a game? I'm not serious just practising. Yes practise! Juri was just playing for my real prince, so this is just me practising for a man. It's not wrong that my hand is running through her curls, it's not wrong how close my body is to hers. It's not wrong how I want to touch her more...

"Shiori..."

She murmurs, or did I just imagine that? She stirs, rubbing her soft body against my tender spots. I can feel my heat rising, pulse quickening. She said my name. Her head is nuzzled between my breasts now. They're still small but that just makes her closer. My nipples are growing hard. The warmth and wetness down there is becoming unbearable, it's starting to hurt. I can feel all my nights of frustration culminating.

It's not perverted if nobody finds out is it? I mean it's just practise.

My hand not in her hair moves down. Don't look at her. My deft fingers ease the throbbing. A few minutes of pleasure made sweeter by her scent and the feel of her breath on my skin. Moans from me and her mixing. Finally blissful release.

I look at her through my panting. Her eyes are half open...

* * *

"Shiori..." she mumbles.

SH*T.

I whip round, face away from her. I don't want to see the expression on her face.

Get out. Get out. Get out.

I stumble to the door and race out the corridor, out the building, race out into the night. Anywhere. Anywhere where she can't see me.

Run. Run. Run anywhere.

"Ufff!"

"Koji... what're you doing here?"

We're by the side of mine and Juri's dorm building. Right outside our open ground floor window. Koji is a bright shade of red. This doesn't look good.

"Were you watching us?"

He looks embarrassed and disgusted enough for the both of us.

"At least I wasn't doing that."

He saw. He saw. He saw. What do I do?

"I only look but you do... that. That's wrong, so wrong."

"It was only practise! It wasn't real."

I'm clutching at straws here. I have nothing to stand on. Nothing.

"Look I won't tell." I look at him surprised. "We both want the same thing. We both won't get it. She only sees us as friends, especially you. I don't think anyone can be as weird as you..."

"You're wrong! I'm normal! I'm just a normal girl! It's just a phase..."

I start sobbing. Koji crouches to face me, smiling an odd smile.

"We can work through this infatuation together. Come with me, let's forget about her. You were only practising right?"

I nod slowly, hiccupping a little.

"Well then we shouldn't have a problem." He leads me away from the dorm room, our dorm room, taking me by the arm.

* * *

I creep back into the room. Juri's bed is empty. I note it but I'm too tired to care.

Tonight with Koji was fun. Reminiscing about the summer, watching all the other night couples go by...

He was right. I do need to stop practising and move on. Move on to the real thing. Stop being a child. Become an adult. Become a woman not a girl. Maybe I should keep seeing him. Maybe I can make this work.

I pause by Juri's bed. I ponder it but it's best to sleep in my own from now on.

Maybe I can forget about this and become a normal girl. Just like everyone else. Just like Juri. Yes, just like her.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Breakfast that morning was bitter. Every mouthful was just one sour aftertaste of guilt after another. It was so hard to meet her eyes. Across the table Shiori seemed transfixed by her bowl too. When we did meet each other's gaze, I would start to say something and she would start to say something but then in the end we left it at silence. When I did dare to look up at her, it was like she was bathed in light. No, that's wrong. She was the one glowing. So painful to look at, yet at the same time so mesmerising too. The little things about her I only took note of before I now couldn't drag my attention from. The delicate way she tucked her hair behind her ears. Kind gestures like making tea or arranging roses for me. So small but so significant now. All my body was screaming to tell her how much they meant to me now I had finally realized what I wanted. But that same sweet revelation was cruelly holding me back. I didn't know what she heard from me whilst I was dreaming, and from the tension between us I could tell she was scrabbling for something to say. What was it? Although dozens of worse case scenarios flooded my mind there was that one spark of hope.

'Maybe' I thought, 'Maybe she could feel this way too...'

Looking back now that spark was the lighting in the storm cloud.

* * *

It was a Sunday and every self respecting Ohtori student was outside on the quad probably lazing under a tree and chatting with their friends. Of course on that day I decided to get away from it all and that unspeakable tension and head straight for the fencing room. It was easier to decide what to do whilst fencing. Tackle the opponent, tackle the problem or so I thought. I practised alone against a dummy opponent. Weirdly my muscles seemed to remember the night before. They ached with a phantom memory of the fight in the dream and seemed to long for another one just like it, or one even better. This lifeless replica just wasn't good enough.

"Juri,"

An unexpected voice behind me. My sister. I immediately flashed back to the talk with Touga. The guilt started stinging like a salted wound.

"Oh you're still such a tomboy aren't you? I thought you would've grown out of that by now."

She sauntered up to me with her characteristic swing of the hips. The swing the guys go mad for. I debated trying to tell her but she continued without letting me speak.

"And your hair too, I thought you would've got more life and colour into it by now. You really don't take after your big sister much..."

She casually stroked my unmasked head and played with a lock.

"What do you want?" I asked, stopping the practise and turning to face her. I was more curious than anything.

"Look little sis," she crouched to my level. I noticed a shadow under her eyes that you could only see up close. She seemed tired, weary even. "I know we don't really get on but it's time I did my sisterly duty and told you a few things, I am your big sister after all."

I was stunned. She had never paid me any attention before, much less been a sister to me. This was completely unlike her. She continued...

"If there's something you want take it. No one's going to hand it to you so you have to just reach out and grab it. Hesitate and you will lose everything. Follow your own path. Even if it is an unconventional one don't care what other people say, you are an Arisugawa and you are better than them. We're nobility after all. Even if you don't act like it."

With that she smiled distantly at me. Nostalgia maybe? "We are wild animals. The women of our family are like proud felines, we don't need a higher authority. We go by our own rules. Follow your instincts and your heart's desires. That's what I've learnt here."

"Why are you telling me this?" I was completely perplexed.

"Well I'm getting old now aren't I? I'll be graduating soon. Oh look." She twiddled one of my loose curls between her fingertips, the strands were indeed brighter than the rest. "Looks like you do have some of your sister's colour after all."

With that she flounced out, her waterfall of orange billowing behind her.

* * *

Something was obviously up. Shiori being so withdrawn, my sister being so open, Touga being...that. It was like something was making everyone mad. In a way it was rather intoxicating. When surrounded by crazy people, what else is there but to go mad yourself? I think that's why I did what I did next. As if pulled by invisible puppet strings I got changed, packed up and headed for town. I did it unthinking acting purely on instinct alone. I barely even knew where I was going, the only thing leading me was this one sudden inexplicable motive, 'Find a present for Shiori. Tell her how you feel. Win her heart.'

Even though I had such a strong purpose my path was aimless. I had no idea what to get her and absolutely no idea where to get it from. I seemed to wander for ages. Nothing seemed right. Too flashy, too plain, too tacky, nothing had that special something. Eventually I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up down a shadowy side street. I was about to give up when I smelt something sweet and homely. Roses.

A cart stall laden with roses of every hue imaginable, but only in orange. Tending it was a young woman in an apron wearing a handkerchief to neatly cover her hair. She was crouching, busily watering a pot, hidden in the shadows.

"Those smell lovely." She didn't look up even when I approached her.

"I can't smell it. When you spend your life around them you become immune to them." Despite her words her tone was cheerfully polite, not cold at all.

"They're beautiful though. I was wondering if I could buy one for..." I struggled with what to call her, "someone special. They remind me of them."

"These aren't for her."

How did she know it was a girl?

"The roses you are thinking of are cut, dead in other words. These ones are planted, alive. They will keep growing forever, hers will wither. I'm a gardener not a florist."

How did she know these things about Shiori? What was she saying about her? Flowers are just flowers after all. During this time she still hadn't looked up from her blooms. This was definitely very weird.

"Just who are you?"

"However I do a present for her. Here." She stepped forward completely ignoring my question. The glare from a sunbeam off the glasses she wore made it impossible to see anything of her face save her lips curled into a reserved smile.

"This rose is eternal." She handed me a gold necklace, with a pendant in the shape of a rose.

"Umm... thank you." As strange as the woman and the stall was you couldn't deny that the present was beautiful. It was perfect even. "How much do I owe you?"

"Oh it's nothing." With that she went back to her living plants. As she turned her head I could see a glimpse of her eyes beneath her reflective glasses. Despite her dark complexion they were a deep emerald green. I had the feeling I had seen them somewhere before. Little did I know that I would be seeing them again soon. I thanked her again and raced back to school, eager to declare my love.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi readers! Thanks for being patient while I took my time to write this chapter. Sorry it took so long to get out. I must admit I had a little crisis of faith, but then I realised if there was no bad stories then there would also be no good ones, so the least I can do is make everyone else's look like a masterpiece in comparison.

Also if you haven't guessed by now I don't own Revolutionary Girl Utena or its characters. If I did I would have probably made those darn sleeves not so huge (they're so hard to make )

Anyway thank you for reading and your support, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

* * *

Chapter 5

"You look like a dog slavering over a bone."

We watch as she walks the path from the fencing hall. We're just meters away around the corner, hidden by the bushes. There's a budding elegance in every step she takes. It's obvious she's becoming a young woman and leaving childhood behind.

"It's a miracle she hasn't noticed you yet. Do you know how lucky you are?"

Koji's right. I'm hanging by a thread here. It's only a matter of time before she loses her innocence and sees me for what I really am. Even now when I'm with Koji, no matter how hard I try my thoughts always stray back to her.

"She looks like an angel." I whisper under my breath, unable to reply.

He pulls me closer to his chest. I feel a little uneasy but let it slide. I can't reject him. I have to go through with this. A butterfly lands on a leaf in front of us, fanning itself in the sun.

"What are we to do with you Shiori?"

I look up at him, puzzled. Close to his chest his scent is overpowering. It's so unlike what I'm used to. I'm used to people smelling sweet and soft but not like this, what is it?

"I don't belong here. You must have noticed how everyone is so unusual here, it's not good enough to be just normal. And I'm not like that. I'm not special, I'm not part of this 'elite nobility' they have, all I can ever be is the underling."

It's because he's a boy. It's the smell of men. Am I meant to like this?

"You and me Shiori, we're just dirt here. And I'm sick of it. In the end someone like Juri will never notice us. We're just not good enough for them. That's why I've taken this decision."

It's choking me from inside my nostrils, clouding my brain. I want to pull away but I can't.

"I'm moving schools to someplace where I fit in, where I'm wanted. There's another opening there Shiori, I think you should come too if we're ever going to give this a shot."

Focus on something else. It won't be so bad if I focus on something else. The butterfly. Focus on the butterfly.

"If you stay here you're just going to get eaten alive. Juri's going to realize what she is soon and leave us even if she doesn't find out about your... obsession. Come with me Shiori. We can start a new life together and forget about this place. We can be more than just dirt. What do you say?"

The butterfly flies away on white wings. White wings like an angel. The smell is doesn't seem so bad now. Maybe I could get used to it eventually. Maybe if I try.

* * *

"Brrrrrrrr... ding!"

"After you, madam."

"No after you, sir"

"Ah! We missed it!"

"Brrrrr... ding!"

"Please ladies first."

"Don't be so silly. I'm sure you have more important places to go than me"

"Oh, too late again! I'm sure we'll get it next time."

"Brrrrr... ding!"

"Gah! Let me out of here!"

"No! I was first! Let me go!"

"Excuse me lady, you're blocking our light."

A small elementary school student tugged at my arm. I took a step back. Sure enough on the wall to my left, there was a shadow projection of two similarly aged girls and an elevator. It looked like some strange sort of rehearsal was happening. It was unlike any play I had ever seen though.

"Okay, start again." One of them called out.

"Allright, you can cross now." The girl by my arm said to me.

I crossed the path on my way to find Shiori. I had checked everywhere and weirdly enough the only place left was the fencing hall.

"Shouldn't you be doing a play like Romeo and Juliet?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Nah this is a lot more fun." The girl replied. "Okay, take it from the top!"

'A lady?' I thought. It was the first time I had been called that.

* * *

As I entered the fencing hall I noticed it was quiet. Too quiet. But it wasn't empty.

"Koji! What are you doing here? Have you come to fence?"

He stood leaning against a wall, half hidden by darkness.

"Ah, Juri! I like the new hairstyle, that vivid orange colour suits you. And no, I've given up on fencing. You've beaten me completely."

'New hairstyle?' I thought and put it to the back of my mind. I had bigger things to think about.

"Then why are you here? Where's Shiori?"

_Juri looks divine like that. All I want to do is hold her. I shouldn't look at her. You shouldn't look at angels should you?_

As if by cue she stepped out of the shadows, an orange rose in her hand.

"Juri, we've got something to tell you."

Shiori looked downcast and troubled. I hoped I could cheer her up. At that moment just to make her smile would have been everything.

"I've got something to tell you too. Koji can you give us a minute?"

"I'll leave you ladies to it." He slinked away. Was that a wink?

"Do you remember when we were little Shiori? Do you remember Sleeping Beauty? We used to read it all the time."

_Why is she saying these things? Why is she making this so much harder?_

" 'Believe in miracles , and that your wish may come true.' That was my favourite line...Shiori."

_She takes my hands in hers. Beautiful, delicate hands surrounding mine surrounding the rose. Entwined in her fingers is a necklace, a locket. Carefully I un-pair our hands dropping the rose. I open the locket._

"I'm hoping a miracle might happen now..."

"It's empty"

I'd completely forgotten about the necklace, I didn't even know it was a locket.

_I wonder who she's going to put inside. Ruka or Touga for all her protesting?_

"Here let me put it on for you. You're too tall for me, so sit down"

She ushered me to a chair and I sat. I remember feeling pretty bemused. This was turning out to be one big misunderstanding. I can remember the feel of her fingers on my neck, her breath tickling my hairs and making them stand on end. I can still remember the hope bubbling inside me. I can still remember thoughts of wanting her to come closer, hug me, do more.

"Actually Shiori..."

_Her neck is so soft. It would be so easy to reach down and feel her soft parts just like I've always wanted. But these thoughts are why I've got to do this Juri. Otherwise I'd hurt you all the more._

"Juri. I'm sorry, so sorry. I...I'm..."

"Remember Shiori, you can't touch an angel."

_Koji is behind me whispering in my ear. His hand burns on the small of my back. I can't let her know this was his idea. She'll quiz him and he'll tell her about me. Anything but that. This is why..._

"Juri. Me and Koji we're ..."

"Koji?"

"We're together Juri"

"What?"

_I can hear the despair in her voice. I can feel her tense beneath me. It must have been Koji. Koji in the locket. Koji in her heart. I'm so glad I can't see her face. I'm so glad she can't see mine. But it's too late now. It's done._

"You must hate me for what I've done. I've stolen him away from you."

_Yes please hate me Juri. I don't deserve your kindness. You don't have to take pity on this commoner any more._

"Shiori, I don't ..."

"We're leaving Juri, we're going to another school. We're leaving tonight. I'm so sorry... There it's done."

I felt the weight swing between my breasts, heavy and cold. Beneath it my heart was being crushed. Shiori walked in front of me and from the darkness Koji came to join her. His hand was around her waist smiling and whispering into her ear. Them together. They turned to leave.

"Wait!"

_My heart still lurches to hear those words. Just tell me you love me. Tell me you don't care. Tell me you want me to stay. Just tell me and I'll do it Juri._

'It's no use.' I thought. 'I can't compete with a guy. It's what's normal. You've won me this time Koji.'

_Juri gets up from the chair, stumbling. The pain in her face is unbearable. I can't make it any worse. Smile. Make her think I'm happy. Make her believe the lie._

"Here. Something to remember me by. 'Believe in miracles, and that you wish might come true.' Yes I remember that line. I hope your miracle comes true one day."

_Yes Juri .Live up to your potential. Become part of this school's elite like you are. Find the perfect boy. Become part of the student council. Live a life without the ordinary Shiori dragging you back. Live a life without me and I'll be happy._

Shiori handed me the rose that she had picked up from the floor. I remember its soft mix of oranges exactly like the sunset from before, like her smile. That breathtaking smile. At that moment I truly thought she was happy with him, that's why I accepted it I suppose instead of taking that one last chance, and held my tongue. I took the rose and the thorns pricked my hand. Blood from my fingertips dripped to the floor.

"Goodbye Juri. I hope we meet again soon."

She walked out of the fencing hall door and I was left alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Notes

Again I'm so sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I've had an inhumane amount of work to do, and I wanted to get this chapter right, but other than that I really have no excuse. Sorry ^_^!

Also I don't own the characters of SKU. If I did however, things would be different...

* * *

Chapter 6

It's done. I'm glad to be home, I'm glad that's over with. Of course glad isn't the word, and of course I can't call it home any more. Not now. The tears spill over. I let them. She'd gone now. I don't have to pretend. But the ghost of memories of Juri lingers in this room. It's like her shadow is hovering over my shoulder.

It's not reflected in the mirror. In reality I'm alone. Just me in the room we shared together. Just me in the glass. That's new. When I catch the light a certain way my brown hair has a purple tint to it. I don't care. I can't look at myself anymore. Just myself, nobody else. No ghost, no Juri.

Maybe I shouldn't have pushed Koji away just then, but I couldn't go back into his arms after that. Thinking about it, it was the first time I rejected him. The first time I hadn't played along with it. It was so hard to stand up against someone by myself, usually I have Juri to back me up. But if I allowed him to hold me then, the guilt would have been unbearable. It would have consumed me. Already it's like a noose around my neck. Or a chain.

That gold chain. That locket. Juri's love yet to be realized, the picture yet to be put in. Sorry I changed it for you Juri, but I'm sure you'll find someone soon. A pretty picture of a nice boy, which you can wear with pride as you hold hands. I'm jealous. A person like me doesn't belong in a case of gold, worn next to the heart of a noblewoman, coveted like a jewel. But still, I long to be there. Still I am jealous. I'm still petty to the end.

The tabletop vase. A bouquet of orange roses, withering. A sempai gave them to me this morning. The only reason she gave for her charity was a smile. I took one to bring to Juri. I thought maybe that time, that one last time, she would finally read the message in the roses. Of course she didn't.

"Flowers are just a commodity to the people who buy them. They are just gifts to buy and then throw away. Flowers have no meaning to the customer."

After all the years, my parents are still just florists to the Arisugawa family. In the end we are nothing but florists to them. The flower sellers and nothing more.

"Orange of burning desire."

My feelings have no meaning to Juri. Remember that.

The colour of the bouquet is fading fast. The petals are curling and growing brown. Soon they will fall into the stagnant water of the vase. I'm sure they seemed freshly cut this morning. They shouldn't wilt so quickly should they?

The memory of her gently tracing those petals is a strong one. Her strong fingers' tender touch of my emotions, my love. Beautifully painful and innocently cruel. That moment before I left. It hurts so much to remember. It hurts so much to think.

I just want to console myself. Just one more time can't hurt can it? One last lapse of conscience. One last time of me pretending to be close to her. One last time to be a child. One last time for old time's sake.

I bury myself in her covers, curled up like the dog I am. Her scent is strongest here. It reminds me of everything we share. Tomes of memories of childhood games and fairytales shared under linen. Our fantasy land. There she holds me like a prince would his damsel in distress. If I try hard enough I can feel her hand on my shoulder. But of course it's just her ghost, and of course it's just my imagination. All I can do is sob into her pillow and drown myself in thoughts of her.

Can I ever forget my childish fantasies? Does time ease the pain? Will this curse ever leave my heart? Maybe if I try my hardest to forget. Maybe if I try my hardest to put distance between us. All that's left to do now is walk away and grow up.

Just a few more minutes and I'll start packing. Just let me rest before getting up to lie to everyone again. Just let me stay here for a few moments more. A few deluded moments more. I'm sorry Juri. I've messed up your pillow. I guess you can take my tears as a leaving present. Seeing as I didn't even get you a real one, save a borrowed wilting flower. I really am the worst. But don't worry I'll leave you alone now.

I've begun to hate roses. I've begun to hate this place of gardens devoted to those hidden meanings. This place of noble princes, servants and acres of mazes to hide yourself in. Koji was right, the smell gets sickening after a while. Maybe if I move I will find another, more meaningful flower. Like irises or violets or lilies. Yes lilies.

* * *

Why does it only seem to rain when I'm sad here? I remember it hammering against the window of the locker room then, as if a mob was pounding on the glass, each thundering drop a fist threatening to break my solitude. It's funny that after being abandoned like that all I wanted to be was alone. Unwilling to go back to what was our dorm and face Koji and Shiori, I decided to take a long shower. The sweat and dirt from the hectic day had built up from all the running around I had done. I thought I could wash away the pain of it. I guess I was wrong. My one true friend had gone. That fact couldn't just be drained away like soapsuds.

When I had finished the rain was nowhere near letting up. As I crossed the fencing hall to leave you could feel of the beginnings of a storm. The wind howled like a creature possessed, the distant soft rumble of thunder like its demonic growl, driving rain its desperate tears. It seemed to shake the very foundations of the old building.

'Time to face the beast.' I thought and gritted my teeth to brave against it.

"Arisugawa-kun is it?"

My hand was literally on the doorknob to go. I was sure the room was empty.

"It wouldn't be wise to go out in that storm you know. You're better off waiting here."

Reluctantly I turned around. Nothing but darkness. I'd had enough of people hiding in shadows for one day. I just wanted this to be over with.

"Actually I've wanted to have a chat with you for a while now. It's not like a captain can ignore such a dedicated member of the club. I mean, who else would be still here? Risking breaking curfew to fence."

A lightning bolt lit the hall up for a split second. Ruka was leaning against the balcony railings, an expression somewhere between a grin and a smirk danced about on his lips. The blue hue of the flash complemented the azure in his hair and eyes, making them almost seem to glow with the electricity of the lightening itself. He looked like a wolf lording over his den.

"I promise I won't bite."

Reluctantly I followed his request as if it were an order. You couldn't just disobey a student council member. He chatted whilst I remained pretty much silent. I wasn't really in the mood to talk. Apparently he said there was a special tournament coming up that he wanted me to join and go to extra private training to prepare. I must've accidentally mumbled an agreement in response. I hadn't listened to a word he was saying. My mind was very much elsewhere. We eventually fell into mutual silence, a comfortable yet respectful wait. Most of our conversations were like that actually; unlike with Koji and Shiori, when talking with Ruka we were happy to just let time pass without saying a word.

Eventually the rain eased to a cold light patter and I could leave. I floated through it in a daze, not bothering to shield myself from the drops. I arrived to an empty room feeling numb and broken. Shiori was definitely gone, the familiar ornaments and trinkets of her presence missing. It was like someone had gutted the room, taking the life out of it. Only her homely smell remained. I flopped into the bed completely exhausted.

'That's funny.' The thought struggled to become coherent. 'My pillow's wet but I'm sure I didn't leave the window open. Maybe Shiori closed it for me.'

The thought of her name brought on a new wave of tears. The stream kept flowing until I drifted to sleep.

* * *

The next day I somehow remembered my promise to a training meeting with Ruka. I was apprehensive but anything seemed better than going back to that lonely room full of Shiori, yet so empty of her too. He had chosen a strange place to meet. Not the fencing hall, the gym or even a tennis court, but a secluded bench overlooking the ocean. It was almost like where you would take someone for a date.

As I approached him as he leaned back on the headrest of the bench looking very nonchalant. It dawned on me that he could have been there the whole time Koji, Shiori and I were talking and the subsequent state that left me in.

'He could know my secret!'

But in the end I never did find out if he did or not.

Training with Ruka was a completely different level to training at the club. There was a much faster pace and much more sincerity. It was no holds barred, sink or swim. Surprisingly it was one of the only things that took my mind off Shiori. I think it was the intensity of it that sparked the animalistic instinct to win in me. Throwing myself into fencing was one of my ways to cope. Coping. That was all I seemed to be doing back then.

The weeks passed and I still hadn't got the heart to move the locket from where Shiori left it, it was my one last relic of her. The last rose she gave me soon wilted, no matter how much plant food I fed it. With quite a lot of shame I cut her picture from our school photo and placed it inside the locket. It was no use keeping it empty and I was frightened of forgetting what she looked like. After staying at boarding school pretty much the whole year, my parents' faces were getting a little fuzzy. Even my sister's was, her having graduated and me barely seeing her anymore, which was ironic considering her tendency to forget things. Placing Shiori in the locket was to remind me to always keep her close to my heart. Even though we weren't meant to be together she was still a part of me. She was the other half of my childhood.

Without any other close friends to hang out with I didn't know what to do with my free time. There's only so much fencing a girl can do, even with my extra training. I wandered the old haunts of ours in the town, the bowling alleys and arcades where we spent the summer together smiling and laughing. Retracing the old memories with my footsteps, trying to bring myself back to that time. But then I always ended up playing the games alone. Just playing for fun is meaningless without friends to share it with. As an individual it's all about being the winner. I must have looked a sight, the same solitary girl coming in every week, face set in cold determination, destroying anyone in her path with sheer dogged persistence. However it was a hollow victory. Without someone to share it with it always is.

The first chance I got I decided to move out of the dorms. People had started to talk. They talked about what had happened to Shiori and Koji, they started to talk about me. Having to deal with the whispering every time I opened my door was enough. But behind the door it was just as bad. The room never lost the feeling of Shiori still being there, but being missing at the same time. It was like the energy had been drained out of the room. No, it was like the room was a drain of energy itself. Instead of going home and feeling refreshed, I just felt as miserable and as lonely as ever. Over time I became more and more irritable, snapping at people when I wouldn't have done before, glaring instead of laughing off a snide remark. I guess I just got tired of it.

However the accommodation change was hard to explain to my parents. Although my sister had lived the majority of her middle and high school years in her own apartment, I had been so adamant to stay in the dorms with Shiori instead of living with her that my sudden change of heart must've seemed unreasonable. They eventually agreed to let me move, but on one condition, that I pay my rent myself. Apparently it was 'character building.' Stuck with ideas on how to raise that money at my age, I turned to my sister to help. She gave me a list of contacts for modelling agencies over the phone. I swear she was stifling laughter when she did so. It was obvious it wasn't really my thing, but it was better than nothing. Besides, what had I to lose?

* * *

Thank you so much for waiting for this chapter, I hope it was kind of worth it. Next time, more fanservice I swear!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Months passed. Its funny how days can drag, seeming like forever until night finally falls. But then you look back and it has been seasons, years even since that moment that feels like it happened only an hour beforehand. I'd been to quite a few photo shoots. They were mostly tedious affairs, a load of bored girls with vacant faces staring blankly into an ever flashing camera set. It was scary how even as adamant I was it wasn't going to affect me, little bits of it started worming thier way into my life. The dresses I wore slowly wound their way into my closet, donated as gifts that I didn't have the heart to refuse. I started styling my hair more carefully into tightly twisted ringlets to save the stylist the bother, but ended up curling it that way on days when I wasn't working too. But the most disconcerting change was how much more womanly and feminine I was becoming. Before I had been a tomboy, allowed to be carefree and unconcerned about things like poise and control, but now I was a lady, expected to be elegant and dignified at all times. I felt like some primped up poodle.

So there I arrived at yet another photo shoot. Unusually the director came over to talk to me in private before I got changed. He said something along the lines of,

"Because of your newfound physique we've decided to try something a little different, a little more... mature."

I know. I know. My mental alarms should have been blaring on hearing that, but I was still pretty young and naive so I agreed. Stupidly I agreed.

At first the premise seemed innocent enough. I was given a simple white wraparound linen dress, attached by ornate broaches at the shoulder. My hair was pinned up into a bun with curls cascading out of it. I looked the very picture of a classical Grecian statue. The focus of the shoot was a jewellery set. Reluctantly I set aside my locket to wear a heavy gold necklace and earrings that jingled every time I moved. It was the first time I had taken my locket off since Shiori put it on, usually I could just hide it underneath clothes, so I was nervous. It was like the mask to my heart was being removed.

The set was a scene of utter decadence and luxury. An ancient marble temple of the gods with a fountain and statues in the garden set against a star studded mountainside just visible outside through the columns. Of course it was just a fake painted on backdrop. Laying in wait for me on chaise longue of crushed red velvet was a boy about my age. He was olive skinned, with a slim figure and a crop of hair which was somewhere in the region between grey and lilac. Clad in a toga and a crown of gold gilded laurel leaves, it was obvious he was meant to be a mythical demigod of some sort. The thing I remember most was his eyes. Eyes a vivid emerald green with a look that could bore into the depths of your soul, or your heart. He was handsome in a nutshell.

I walked up to him to my first pose, a simple standing one slightly leaning on the arm of the chair. Of course I was apprehensive. It must've showed in my body language, I was probably subconsciously tensing up.

"Try to relax. There's no need to be frightened here."

The deep, smooth, reassuring voice came from behind the lens and flashbulbs.

"It's just...I've never had a shoot with just me and a boy before."

The owner of the voice peered over the camera to look at me with a chuckle. He looked identical to the boy apart from he was much older. Where there were still the smooth curves of adolescence on the model, they had been replaced with the angular hardness of adulthood on the photographer. The hair was a little lighter and the eyes a little narrower but apart from that they were the same. Or so I thought.

"Despite her quite boyish appearance, I can assure you my little sister is indeed a girl."

I looked down again at the reclining figure now looking up at me with a bemused grin. Now that it was mentioned that body did seem a little too curvy, the face a little too smooth to be totally masculine. When I realized I was staring, I looked away and I began to blush.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean..."

"Don't worry about it. I get it all the time."

The voice was calm, gentle and lilting. Nothing like what I was expecting. It was a voice that could put you totally at ease, like a caress. A voice that could rock bawling infants into peaceful slumber yet with an underlying husky edge to it which could set grown men into tears, albeit for a completely different reason. But of course I didn't know what that seductive part truly was yet, I could only watch as it carried me away.

The next few poses went well. Leaning and draping myself against the arms and back of the couch and pretending to feed grapes to the beauty on the chaise longue in front of me.

"Alright, good. Now sit down too."

I gingerly took a seat as directed by the photographer. There wasn't that much room to place myself without touching her.

"Okay now relax. Lean into her. Lower yourself into her arms."

I hesitated.

"It's okay."

I looked up into the owner of that calm confident voice which matched her sure and steady smile. Her jewel like eyes of endless depth seemed to ask, no demand,

'Trust me.'

And I did. The poses we did weren't exactly explicit or even that suggestive but they were very... intimate.

"Tilt your head this way. Lift your neck up. Push more of your chest out. Arch your back."

Pressing myself against her body I could sense her femininity more clearly. I could feel soft yielding parts which contrasted with lean muscular ones. Part like a boy and part like a girl. It was kind of awe inspiring. I was enveloped in this feeling of utter warmth and security. The ghosts of half forgotten feelings were stirring within me, awakening things I had tried so hard to suppress.

"Excellent. We have some really good shots. Now time for one last one, I'd like you to kiss."

I pulled away from her slightly, embarrassed. It was like he had read my mind.

"It's okay. My brother knows what he is doing."

I couldn't turn away from that voice whispering oh so surely into my ear. The guiding pressure of her palm gently brought my face to hers. I felt the sweet moisture of her lips upon mine. It was my first kiss, and I all I could do was hold myself there. Unsure of when to stop, oblivious to the flashes around me I just stayed stock still. I was a fawn in the headlights. Eventually the sensation stopped.

"It's over." The boyish girl was standing above me, offering me her hand and looking quite bemused. "It's time to go."

* * *

Dear Juri,

_How I long to see you again._

How are you doing? Koji and I are doing just fine at our new school, we're having so much fun!

_Everything is so lonely without you._

Of course we miss you loads, especially Koji. We laugh about how he used to have a crush on you. He's still too shy about it to write to you, you know!

_He laughs at my crush, my weird perverted crush. I guess I've started to laugh along with him too. It was stupid, it is stupid. I'm such a fool. Still, what I would give to replace him with you .I can tell he is thinking the same thing. I was always inadequate compared to you .I guess we both just settled for second best._

I'm sorry for running off into the sunset like that, but I just had to steal him away from you. I couldn't help myself, he's such a hunk!

_Part of me still finds him disgusting. I hate it when he touches me. I can tell he's getting frustrated but I won't let him go any further. I can't. I won't. But still at the end of the day I'm with him. I've got to be, to save face._

I don't regret what I did because we're so happy now. You must hate me for being like this but it was what I always hoped for. I'm so happy.

_Yes please hate me. I don't deserve your forgiveness for these lies. _

Even so I hope you look back on our memories together with happiness yourself. We really were the three musketeers!

_So many lies. So much betrayal. All I want to do is forget, but I can't. Still I can't._

I wish you the best,

Shiori

_PS. I guess some things are just better left unsaid right?_

_

* * *

_

By the time we made it back to the changing room most the building was deserted already. How they left so quickly I have no idea, but at the time I didn't question it. My attention was fixed solely on the girl changing next to me, or rather on how to make sure she didn't notice that. However I was being betrayed, firstly by my blush which I could feel burning at the tips of my ears and secondly by the awkward silence that seemed like a canyon yawning in front of us. I had to distract her from it and quickly.

"That was really weird wasn't it? Asking us to kiss like that..."

Words just came out of my mouth. Stupid words that made me blush even more.

"That wasn't a kiss."

She interrupted my scrambling thoughts mid flow with that sweet voice of hers.

"What do you mean? Of course it was a kiss."

Forgetting I was halfway through changing I turned to look at the model, but when I turned her face was only inches away from mine. She murmured with what was almost a sigh.

"No, this is a kiss."

She was right. We kissed a true kiss, deep and unforgiving that makes your insides melt and leaves you hungry for more. What exactly happened next I'm not too sure. Looking back it seemed like one perfect seamless moment that lead from that kiss to whatever costume was left being stripped away, to us lying together in between a pile of dresses in a state of utter bliss. It felt like I just got washed away by the tide, the undercurrent plucking my feet from the seabed, carrying my body to the middle of the ocean and washing me up on an unknown shore.

After a while she rose and almost as if nothing had happened, started to get dressed just like before. As I tried to do the same I stepped on something hard that painfully dug into my foot. It was my locket along with a letter which I had yet to open, left in my coat pocket which had been strewn to the floor in our passion.

Shiori. I had forgotten about her all this time. For the first time in months she wasn't constantly on my mind and it felt good. It was a relief not to have this sadness clawing at my heart. I thought that maybe if I kept this up, maybe if things with me and this girl continued I could completely forget Shiori and move on. Maybe in the future I could be really happy. However for that to happen I would have to get to know her better, all I knew now was that she was definitely a girl.

"Umm... I'm terribly sorry but I don't think we were ever properly introduced. What is your name?"

My over politeness was probably a by-product of the deep shame I felt when I realized that I didn't even know that.

"Why do you want to know my name?" She sounded amused but she didn't even turn around to look at me.

I was taken aback, was this some sort of joke?

"W... Well because I'd like to get to know you better. I thought maybe we could go out somewhere sometime..."

"We're both girls so it's not possible. That's what a boy and a girl do. You're a girl so you can't do that with me." Her tone still had that lightness to it and even though she was facing the other way, I could swear she was smiling.

"What...What do you mean? What we just did. What we both shared. Didn't we both just prove that we can? Tell me you feel it too. Please..."

The feeling of having this new warm glow of hope taken from me was making me hysterical. Someone who just moments before had been far closer to me than any other person was now casually dismissing any chance of any kind of relationship like I had just offered them a cup of tea. I couldn't even really say she was my acquaintance without her name. It was soul destroying, heart breaking. All those cliché words for feeling totally and utterly deserted.

"Oh! My brother's here." Now fully clothed she turned to look at me with a smile of contented nonchalance whilst I still lay naked on the floor, cast aside like the pile of dresses. "Bye Arisugawa-san."

With that she left. Truly I was stunned. Even now the whole episode seems unreal, almost like a dream. I wish it was.

* * *

Umm... well I said there would be fanservice *please don't kill me ^_^'!*

Special thanks goes to Seven-Tenths for betareading and thanks to all my reviewers and readers for sticking with me so far. You guys are really great =]!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter. All those mean little when you live on the shore. Ohtori, being almost surrounded by the ocean, has its seasons muted by the sea. The cool wind from the water takes the oppression out of the summer heat and the salt in the air makes it hard for snow and frost to settle. I don't think I know that though. Ice-queen. That's what they whisper behind my back, though that's by far not the worst they say. I suppose they're right, I have put a block between me and the outside world. Frozen off, encased in my own little icy tomb.

* * *

A season-less year had passed since the night Shiori left. I continued on fencing and competing alone, even more so after the incident with the model. My life was an endless cycle of train, fight, win, but I liked it that way. It meant that I didn't have to remember. It meant that I didn't have to feel. The effort I had put into fencing paid off and I could consistently win against any of the members of the team, apart from Ruka. I still had private training sessions with him by the bench on the seafront, although the fabled tournament it was meant to be for still hadn't materialised. Not that I had really noticed. However one morning I received a letter. Thinking it was another one from Shiori I hastily opened it. It was only later realised it was sealed by wax with the crest of a blossoming rose.

_Be sure to meet with Tsuchiya Ruka today._

_-The End of the World_

Ominous isn't it? But I hadn't planned on doing otherwise so I followed its instructions and tried to put it to the back of my mind. When we met, he was without any fencing gear and dressed in his regal student council uniform. He said just one word to me,

"Come."

Though I was curious, I decided to let him take the lead. By now he had earned enough of my trust, he could be considerate and caring to those he looked after in the fencing club. I enjoyed the training sessions I had with him and I even began to open up to him, sharing some of our troubles or else I just listened as he instructed me in his now familiar accented voice. Although I still didn't trust him fully as a male. We arrived in the lobby of the central tower at the door of an elevator that was normally forbidden to use for most students. Ruka turned to face me, his eyes narrowed and his voice serious.

"Juri, do you know why I've brought you here? Why I've been training you all this time? It's because I need a replacement. I'm going leaving school for a bit. In my absence I want you to take over my duties as captain of the fencing team."

His sudden graveness was quite worrying. I tried to protest but he silenced me with,

"Juri, I've personally mentored you for a year. You've become a strong and noble person. I know you can handle it. Besides there's something I else I have to ask you. Here."

He handed me a ring, it looked a little familiar but I couldn't remember where I had seen it before apart from an identical one that he wore. But that was the least of my troubles.

"...Ruka? Really I'm flattered but I can't do this. I had no idea..."

He smirked as he turned away from me to face the door and press the button.

"It's not an engagement ring. Come this way."

We entered the elevator. As it rose Ruka started a speech in monotone, just like a trance.

"If the egg's shell doesn't break, the chick will die without being born."

Touga entered the elevator seeming to pay no notice to us whilst not pressing any buttons for another level.

"We are the chick, the egg is the world."

He was followed by another upperclassman I hadn't seen before. It was fair to say the elevator was getting a little cramped, being squashed in a small elevator with three guys was not my idea of fun.

"If the world's shell does not break, we will die without being born."

As we reached the top of the elevator all three of them joined in. Their seriousness was so surreal, it felt like I had walked into the clubroom of a cult yet it was strangely captivating at the same time.

"For the sake of the world revolution!"

Silence. The noise from that last declaration seemed to make the elevator even more claustrophobic. It was definately too stuffy in there. As soon as we could we rushed out, gasping for air.

"I still don't think we've got it right yet." Touga remarked from behind me with a playful flick of his hair. "It needs more style."

However I was distracted before I could make any comment on how 'right' or 'stylish' that ridiculous speech could be. We had arrived on a balcony overlooking the rest of the campus. The view was stunning, it just seemed to go on for miles and miles and out onto the endless sea. It was so high up the sky seemed to surround you. One wrong step and you'd fall for what seemed like miles onto the courtyard below. My attention was focused solely on a girl sitting at a white wrought iron table, calmly sipping on a cup of tea. There was something about her...

"Juri you have been chosen by the End of the World. You are to become part of the Student Council, here's a copy of the code."

I took it without taking my eyes off the girl. She seemed modest and maybe a little dowdy, with big circular glasses and her hair curled up into a neat bun. Being the only student from a foreign background I'd known of in the academy she should've stood out, but I hadn't seen her around campus at all. Her age was also strangely hard to pinpoint, she could be a first year in junior high or almost ready to go to university.

"You are to participate in duels to gain the power to revolutionize the world. The winner of those duels gains that power... and the Rose Bride."

Those eyes! I'd definitely seen those eyes before somewhere...

Ruka walked behind the girl and put his hand on her shoulder. She remained unmoving, not meeting anyone's gaze and staring into the now presumably empty cup.

"At the moment she belongs to me along with that power."

I could hear the unknown upperclassman shift uncomfortably behind me and from what I learned later, probably give a glare of disapproval. The girl looked at the source of the noise, meaning her eye-line met mine.

"However I am no longer going to fulfil that duty, so as before when the others graduated, duels will have to take place to decide the engaged."

That intense green. That dark, deep green so unusual for eye colour. The dream, the flower seller, the model. Although it seemed crazy her eyes were exactly the same as all three. They were definitely her, logic didn't come into it.

"Who is she?"

I wanted to run up to her and slap her. Hard. Right then I was convinced she was the source of all my pain over the past year.

"Himemiya Anthy, the Rose Bride."

"What would I want with her, or that phoney power?"

Despite my words and barely hidden anger, deep down part of me did want her. But not like this, not as this person. As that strong boyish girl who held me in her arms before and showed me that girl princes were possible. And above all I wanted to know why. Why did she do those things? Why does she hide her true self? Why did she leave me like that?

"You could gain the power of miracles."

I snorted, it was all so delusional.

"Or the power to disprove them, seeing as you hate them so much."

Ruka knew my weak spot. Whenever someone claimed something was miraculous I always replied, I admit with a little bitterness, "Miracles don't exist."

Well at least for me they don't. I suppose it had become my mantra of sorts. So I agreed, even though it all seemed crazy I agreed. Part of it was finding out the mystery behind 'Anthy' and part of it was to disprove the existence of miracles. Why? I'm not even quite sure now.

Well in the end at least I got a nice uniform out of it and could leave that god-awful puffy sleeves and skirt thing behind. I've still learnt nothing about Anthy though- that girl is evasive to a fault. Ask her anything and she's like a character from Alice in Wonderland, giving silly riddles or completely avoiding the question, hiding behind her glasses and her saccharine smile. I still don't know if it really was her. Like seemingly everything to do with the Council my mind tells me it borders on the impossible and that you'd have to be mad to believe it but my gut is sure. She's the one who did that to me.

* * *

So I took on the responsibilities of fencing team captain and student council treasurer after Ruka left. I was sad to see him go. I think he downplayed the seriousness of his illness when he left, he has still yet to return. Though I hate to admit it the fencing room still feels a little empty without him, but I have to say I could give his screaming fan-girls a miss.

Both roles were rather straightforward if a little tedious and time consuming. Council work was the worst seeing as Saionji (the other council member) preferred to spend his time in the Kendo Club before the duels got underway, and Touga prefers to spend his time... elsewhere. I really had entered a boy's club. At least Saionji had an excuse.

My new positions didn't go unnoticed by the girls at the fencing club who came just to watch. I started to find presents left for me in my locker, little trinkets, bentos and love letters. At first I tried to ignore them, I just wanted to be alone. Opening myself up to anyone else again would lead only to another chance at being hurt. But there was this one girl who was consistently persistent. She just wouldn't let things drop so I agreed to meet her one night by the fountain. I thought that if I did so she would leave me be, but surprisingly when I met her that wasn't what I wanted. It was nice being with her. I could drop my mask and I was able to rest, be truly myself around another human being. Not a sure, strong captain or an authoritative student council member but a person capable of sharing affection, if only for a few moments.

But in the end it didn't work out. I guess I was too distant, too cold and above all I wasn't the 'prince' she expected me to be. Emotionally I was, and I guess I still am, broken. Pulling away from her for fear she might get too close and see the real me, the lonely pathetic me behind the wariorress facade. Eventually she got bored of it and left.

Of course after her along came the next girl, and after her the next. Over time it became a kind of routine. Going out and meeting girls on an evening stroll around campus, but never sticking with one for long. Half the time I don't even know them beforehand. I guess I'm just trying to chase the warmth I once felt by seizing a few stolen moments of happiness. But each time it becomes more and more mechanical. Each time I reveal myself less and less. Each time becomes more like a game. The sordid game of seduction played by a handsome china doll with silken ringlets and curls, that the girls just can't resist. I'm so shameless aren't I? Almost no different to my sister, or to Touga. I guess power and influence really do corrupt.

Over time the rumours built up and I became something to be both admired and feared on campus, even the teachers do so a little. I don't mind them, they help me get done what needs to be and they keep prying questions away. My sister's reputation helped, for all her schoolgirl antics she married after graduating to one of the school's governors and settled down to a usual housewife's life. But I guess part of what fuels them is my own stoic nature and my winner's determination to let no one get in my way. Not fellow students, teachers, enemies, friends or even lovers. I'm the frost queen of the academy who could freeze you on the spot with a single glare.

But before the winter there was a summer. Before the heart of ice, there was the warmth of a glowing sunset and orange roses of a love that never was.

* * *

That's the end for Sunset Rose, although look out for the sequel called **Timekeeping** if you're interested in reading that. This was my first proper story (not counting the rubbishy ones you write for school) that I've written so any opinions on it are much appreciated. I hope you've enjoyed it and if you haven't then hopefully you might've been able to get a few laughs at least. Thanks to all you readers and extra thanks to Seven-Tenths for beta reading. Later!


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